Why do guys stay in touch with ex girlfriends?
Terminating a relationship is typically difficult and painful, even when you want it to happen.
A breakup leaves you with lingering memories, unresolved emotions, and unanswered questions.
While some people may choose to cut ties entirely after a breakup (precisely what I did as a single), others may find it challenging to let go of the relationship and continue to stay in touch with their ex-partner.
In particular, many women may wonder why guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends, especially if the relationship was not particularly healthy or if they have since moved on to new partners.
Is your ex still trying to remain friends?
This can make you feel like you’re being played.
Or your boyfriend is still in touch with his ex, and you wonder why.
Why do guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends?
Let’s delve into this and uncover the mystery behind their motives.
Why Do Guys Stay in Touch With Ex Girlfriends?
The Comfort Zone
Sometimes, guys stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends for comfort.
Nothing compares to an old flame who knows your quirks and past stories.
The comfort zone is a psychological state where a person feels comfortable and familiar with their current situation or environment and may be hesitant or resistant to change.
When guys stay in touch with their exes, it allows them to remain connected to someone who is familiar and known to them, rather than venturing into new, unfamiliar relationships or social situations, especially if the guy has been in a long-term relationship with his ex-girlfriend.
2. The Fear of Being Alone
The fear of loneliness is real, fam, and it manifests in different ways, including staying in touch with an ex.
Being in a relationship can become a routine, and being single again can be scary after many years.
Guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends because they don’t want to feel lonely and long for companionship.
Having someone available to chat with or be there for them when necessary can fill a void that comes from being single and alone.
3. The Fear of Moving On
Moving on after a breakup is not always a walk in the park.
Many of us think women hurt more when relationships fail, but guys hurt as well.
When faced with the reality that a relationship is over, some guys may have difficulty accepting it, so they keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends as a way of clinging onto hope that things could go back to the way they were.
Staying in contact makes it easier for some guys to deny that the relationship is truly over thereby delaying their healing process.
4. Sense of Power
It’s no secret that men love feeling powerful and in control.
So when they have an “in” with an old girlfriend who still may have feelings for them, it gives them an immense sense of power.
They know that if things don’t work out with their current partner, they always have someone else ready to jump back into something serious with them, making them feel special and important.
5. They Have Mutual Friends or Social Circles They Want To Remain Part of
Guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends because they have mutual friends or social circles that they don’t want to split up.
It can be awkward to explain why they’re no longer together and even more uncomfortable when mutual friends have to choose sides.
By maintaining a friendship with their ex girlfriend, it allows them both to remain part of the same circle of friends without any drama or disruption.
6. They value the friendship and connection they have with their ex-girlfriend
The relationship may not have been ideal or healthy, but it doesn’t mean that there weren’t good times shared between them.
People sometimes realize that even if a romantic partnership didn’t work out, the friendship could still be strong enough to remain intact.
So guys may stay in touch with their ex-girlfriends because they enjoy the relationship as friends and don’t want it to end.
7. They still have feelings for their ex-girlfriend and hope to rekindle the relationship
Some guys think that if they keep talking to their ex, it will make her realize how much she misses them and brings them back together.
This is because they still have feelings for their ex-girlfriend and hope to rekindle the relationship, despite being broken up.
Unfortunately, it’s usually not that easy and can do more damage than good if they’re unsure whether their ex is also interested in getting back together.
8. Fear of Commitment
Some men stay connected with old flames because they fear commitment.
The idea of investing in one person long-term terrifies them, even if they don’t admit it.
So by keeping the option open to reconnect with an old flame at any time, they’re never really committing themselves emotionally or physically to anyone.
9. They feel guilty about the way the relationship ended and want to make amends
Guilt is a powerful emotion that leads people to act in unexpected ways, and this is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships.
It’s normal to feel guilty if you initiate a breakup and hurt someone who loves you.
If a guy feels guilty about breaking up with his girlfriend, he may feel that he’s to blame, and staying in touch with her is a way of making amends and seeking forgiveness.
10. They want to maintain access to resources, such as job connections or housing
People, men, especially, have a motive for everything they do, including staying in touch with an ex.
In life, a wide network or contacts is essential for getting ahead.
So it makes sense for a guy to keep up ties to a former girlfriend if she provides access to job connections or other relevant opportunities.
11. They want to make their new partner jealous or insecure
A cowardly reason some guys choose to stick around is that they want to make their new partner jealous or insecure.
They know that by maintaining contact with their former flame, they can feed off the jealousy of their current partner and make them doubt themselves.
While some people believe that staying in touch is all about respect, there are many situations where such contact is used as a manipulative tactic in order to make the new partner feel inferior.
A guy who does this is probably a narcissist.
12. They want to keep tabs on their ex-partner’s life or dating status
While this might sound a bit sneaky or nosy, it’s actually quite common for people to be curious about what their ex is up to after a breakup.
I’m sure you sometimes wonder how your ex is doing, who they are dating, and whether they are happy or not.
Staying in touch with an ex-girlfriend provides guys with a sense of connection and knowledge about what’s happening in her life.
They may be curious about her dating status, her job, or her social life, and staying in touch can give them a way to satisfy that curiosity.
13. They feel a sense of obligation to maintain the relationship due to past commitments
This is majorly true if a guy and his ex-girlfriend shared a deep emotional connection and many significant life experiences together, such as owning property, having children or running a business.
When a relationship ends, it’s not usually easy to navigate the practicalities of untangling two lives that have become deeply intertwined.
Even if the romantic aspect of the relationship has ended, there may still be obligations or commitments that need to be fulfilled.
And staying in touch with an ex-girlfriend is a way of ensuring these.
These are the common reasons guys keep in touch with an ex.
Know that it’s okay to have boundaries when engaging with an ex-boyfriend.
Don’t be afraid to politely decline any offers of communication or friendship if you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
How much you keep in touch with them is up to you.
At the end of the day, respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve your best interests.