Why do guys say hurtful things after a breakup?
Have you ever wondered?
When two people are in love, they are like a match made in heaven.
Family and friends know they are an item.
It’s all beautiful until break up happens and each party has to go their separate ways.
Breakup is a harrowing experience.
No sane person goes into a relationship anticipating a breakup.
It isn’t easy to let go of people we once loved.
But it is inevitable, sometimes.
There are so many reasons that could cause relationships to break.
How we react to breakups differs from one person to another.
Circumstances leading to the break up also determine the reaction.
Men and women process pain differently. Well, we are different beings.
There’s an assumption that women are emotional and that men are logical.
But men are also emotional beings. They have feelings.
They also feel miserable when they lose someone they love and cherish.
Though some of them try to hide their pain,
Some go ahead to vent their anger by saying hurtful things.
People who were once lovers now become sworn enemies.
However, not all guys use hurtful words towards their exes.
Hurtful words could be in the form of name-calling, threats, curses, blames and accusations.
Examples of hurtful words guys say are, “I hate you”, “I wish I never met you”, “I regret the day I set my eyes on you”, etc.
There are many reasons why this set of people choose to express their feelings this way.
I will be sharing some of them in this article;
10 Reasons Guys Say Hurtful Things After A Breakup
1) He is angry and resentful
A breakup comes with a range of emotions.
It is normal to be filled with anger and resentment after a breakup.
It doesn’t matter whether they are the ones who initiated the breakup or not.
They are either angry about what the lady did or didn’t do.
They can also be angry about the time and emotions they’ve invested in the relationship.
As a result, they start saying many hurtful things about their exes behind them.
Some could even go to the extent of making posts on social media and tagging their exes.
If the guy has been the financier of the lady, he paid her school fees, rent and expenses, and the lady called off the relationship.
He would feel cheated and used.
He can resort to saying hurtful things to let out his anger.
2) He is emotionally hurt and broken
Most men are usually guarded.
But when a man truly falls in love, he gives it his all.
He is willing to go overboard to please his woman.
He is ready to bring the whole world to her feet.
This is why they tend to feel the emotional impact of a breakup more than a woman.
A guy can say hurtful things due to the pain he’s going through.
He can badmouth his ex and give many terrible details about his ex.
He could even go to the extent of heaping lies on her head.
This is just how best he can process his pain.
3) They feel betrayed
The pain that comes with betrayal is always so intense.
And it takes a lot of time to heal.
A man will feel betrayed if his girlfriend cheats on him with another man,
Or if his girlfriend abandons him.
For someone who has been betrayed, it is normal to feel heartbroken.
Anger, disappointment and shame are feelings that follow such action.
When this happens, there’s a likelihood for him to say many hurtful words.
Feelings of betrayal can make a guy say hurtful words.
4) They are immature
Ideally, an immature man has no business in a relationship.
He can’t handle the demands of a relationship.
His emotions are all over the place.
He lacks emotional intelligence in handling issues.
During a breakup, an immature guy is almost sure to say many terrible things to and behind his ex.
He could go as far as telling the whole world about the things he did for them, the gifts he got for her and the many sacrifices he made.
He wouldn’t spare any detail.
This is because he can’t handle the hurt he is going through maturely.
5) They have poor communication skills
Even in pain, it is essential to communicate our feelings constructively.
When some people are in pain, they find it difficult to express themselves objectively.
Their emotions are all over the place.
In this state, they start saying hurtful and terrible things.
6) Being defensive
Defensive people will always push blames on others.
They are never at fault.
They always have someone to hold responsible for every unfortunate situation.
A defensive guy will say hurtful words to their ex because he believes she’s the villain.
He wants everyone to see her as the one in the wrong.
He believes he has done nothing wrong.
If he were the one who broke up, he would blame the lady for being the one who caused it.
If it were the lady who broke up, he would tag her as a terrible person.
7) Past trauma
Traumas are terrible.
The survivors need healing to overcome it.
Else, it will always affect their other relationships.
Past painful experiences from break up or other issues could make a guy utter terrible things.
So, when a guy starts making terrible comments after a breakup, it may be due to his past painful experience.
8) Impulsion
How we process pain differs, especially when it has to do with relationships.
If a guy is going through the pain of a breakup, he could yell out words of insults.
He could even threaten and vow to take revenge.
People like this don’t even mean what they say sometimes.
But what they were going through at the time got the better of them.
9) Revenge
Some guys use hurtful words as a way of getting even.
They want to paint their ex in a bad light.
They want people to see them as the evil one.
They have the mindset of “If I can’t have you, no one will”.
They cook up lies.
They slander.
All in a bid to pull down their ex.
They have one aim.
To smear the image of their ex.
10) They lack empathy
They don’t take into consideration the feelings of their ex.
They don’t even care to know if their ex is also going through the same depth of pain as them.
All they care to do is to cause their ex so much pain.
Final Words
Experiencing pain is not palatable.
However, how we handle it is essential.
Break up is never palatable.
It affects one physically and emotionally.
But, it is important that we handle issues maturely.
Emotions shouldn’t get the better of us.
Guys need to be open to honest communication filled with respect and empathy.