Don’t marry someone until you can honestly answer these questions!
Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
It is a journey and not a destination.
It is a decision to commit your life to an individual for the rest of your life.
It is not a walk in the park.
Dating is quite different in every way from marriage.
This is why making this decision with an open eye and heart is essential.
Marriage is meant for adults and not children.
And even as an adult, you should decide to get married because you are ready for it.
It shouldn’t be because people feel you’re ready for it or because of your ticking biological clock.
Perhaps, you and your partner have been together for a while, and you’re considering taking the bold step towards marriage.
Before you make this decision, you should answer some pertinent questions.
Below are nine questions you need to honestly answer before you marry someone;
1. Why do I want to get married?
There’s a saying that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.
This is one crucial question for you to ask yourself and provide answers to.
The decision to marry is personal, and people marry for different reasons.
Some marry because they crave companionship.
Some others do because of the love they and their partner share.
Financial benefits, the security are also some of the other reasons people get married.
The reason behind your decision will determine the efforts you will put into it.
It will also determine your expected outcome.
2. Do I love this person?
Love is an essential factor in marriage.
Though we sometimes feel love, it is undoubtedly more than a feeling.
Feelings are fickle, and we shouldn’t always build our decisions on emotions.
Usually, when your partner does something that pleases you, it stirs up the love feeling in you.
True love is the decision to love even when your partner is not at their best.
When you see their weaknesses and frailty, you choose to love them still regardless.
It is beyond butterflies in the belly.
So, you need to be sincere with yourself.
Are you sure you love this person?
3. How well do I know this person?
Getting to know someone could require some effort and time.
That you have an idea of someone doesn’t mean you know them.
How well you know the person will help you see if they are worth your time and attention.
It will help you know if your values align and if you see a future with them.
While it is true that it’s not possible to know everything about someone in just a little time,
Knowing so much about them is also possible that it can help you decide whether to stick with them or take a walk.
Be sure you know the person well enough before committing to a marital relationship to avoid ‘stories that touch the heart’ later.
4. Am I ready to commit to a lifelong relationship?
This a very personal question for you to answer.
This means you need to count the cost before you venture into it.
Marriage, though beautiful, is not a bed of roses.
You meet someone who loves you, and you’re also in love with them
They tick your boxes, and you can’t wait to be happily married.
It’s a good one!
But are you ready to go all the way with your partner?
Are you willing to stay true to what you both share?
When the beauty is no longer there and the strength is waning,
Do you still see yourself patting this person on the back and cheering them on?
Are you willing to invest your time, energy, effort, and money into this union?
Are you ready to do everything you can to see that your marriage works?
Do you think this person is worth all your heart and your life?
In the real essence of it, when you decide to get married to someone, you’re committing more than your heart; you’re giving your life to the relationship.
5. Do we share the same values?
Values are one of the fundamentals of our lives.
They are beliefs that determine our actions and reactions to issues.
Some examples of core values are humility, compassion, communication, respect, and religious beliefs.
One of the critical tests of compatibility is shared values.
Couples with similar values can almost always journey through thick and thin together.
For example, in a situation where one person places a premium on open communication while the partner is consistently uninterested and prefers to keep to himself.
It will be a bit challenging for you both to talk heart-to-heart.
And when you try to bring up conversations, you might end up talking to yourself.
That can be frustrating.
Values cut across different aspects of our lives
For instance, if you’re with someone who shares similar religious values, it will be easy to get through life together.
It will also help you in nurturing your children in the same faith.
You should pay attention to your value system and that of your partner.
6. Are we financially capable of starting this journey?
Money is a critical ” fuel ” that keeps the home’s engine running.
While you don’t need to be the wealthiest human on earth before considering marriage,
You both should be financially capable of the smooth running of your home.
It will help if you meet basic needs like accommodation, feeding, and transportation.
And of course, by the time children start coming, if you want any, you will spend more.
You should consider what both of you earn now and see if it’s worth starting a family with.
7. Do we want children?
Children are beautiful gifts from God.
But not everyone wants to have one.
Some couples decide not to have children for various reasons, including financial constraints, infertility, and fear of responsibility.
And some couples decide against having children because they don’t want any “little humans” to come between them.
Whether you decide to have children or not, your choice is valid.
However, both of you must be on the same page regarding this.
8. Do we have a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect?
The strength of a house is determined by the foundation laid.
A healthy relationship is one built on trust and respect.
These two go hand in hand.
Open and honest communication fosters trust.
And mutual trust strengthens the bond of love you share.
It helps you both to be vulnerable with each other without fear.
The success of your union will be determined by the presence of these two.
You must consider the state of your relationship.
9. How well do we handle conflicts and resolve disagreements?
It’s almost impossible for two adults to be together and not have moments of disagreement.
Different issues can bring up conflict.
But how well we handle them determines the strength of our relationship.
When you have a misunderstanding, and you resolve it on time, it helps to strengthen the cord of love.
But allowing conflicts to linger for a while could make you both start drifting apart.
Conclusion
These are some of the questions you need to give answers to before deciding to get married to your partner.
They will guide you in making wise decisions about your relationship.
Remember that marriage is a lifelong contract, and you need to make an informed decision before committing to it.
All the best!