If you are dating a narcissist, you might feel like the relationship is draining your energy.
You’ll feel tired and confused by the way they treat you.
It can be hard to figure out if your partner is a narcissist or not, but there are some tell-tale signs that might help:
14 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist
1. They have to be right all the time. You feel like you are not allowed to have a different or contrary opinion
You may have noticed a pattern here: narcissists are often trying to prove that they are right and you are wrong.
They can’t stand being proven wrong, so this is one of the signs of a narcissistic personality disorder.
You might find yourself feeling as if you cannot speak up or express your opinion because it’s always been shut down in the past.
Narcissists constantly try to win arguments, even when there has been no argument at all; they often use manipulative tactics like condescending language or insults in order to make themselves look superior while making others look inferior.
If you feel like your partner always has to be right and you can’t disagree with them, you’re dating a narcissist!
2. They can be extremely controlling and manipulative
You may not realize it, but they are.
Narcissists tend to be extremely controlling and manipulative, but if you have never been in a relationship with a narcissist before, it can be difficult for you to notice this behavior.
They are masters at manipulating people; they know exactly how much control they can get away with without pushing their victims too far into anger or resentment and turning them against them.
They play off their victim’s emotions so well that their victims do not even realize that the narcissist is influencing them so heavily.
To put it simply: Narcissists are manipulative in order to gain power over others in relationships.
Sometimes overtly through bullying tactics; other times covertly by making promises that they don’t intend on keeping.
They just have a way of manipulating you to do their bidding.
3. They feel like they’re entitled to everything
It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to feel like they are entitled to everything.
They want you to do things for them, but they won’t be willing to do things that benefit you in a similar way.
They expect you to drop everything and cater to their needs at all times and often times, there is no reciprocation from them.
This could include:
Expecting you to go out of your way always for them
Acting like it’s an injustice if you spend money on yourself instead of spending it on them
Expecting you to respect their time without respecting yours
4. They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Narcissists are so self-absorbed that they think they are better, smarter, and more special than everyone around them.
They feel like they deserve special treatment and that the world revolves around them.
They’re also extremely entitled—they believe they are owed things by others for no reason other than existing.”
5. They need constant praise, but never give it back.
A narcissist will only give you praise if they want something from you.
If they do not want something, no matter how much work you put into it, they won’t say a word about it.
Just know that if you’re dating a narcissist, the only reason they will ever praise you is because they want something from you.
It has nothing to do with your efforts and everything to do with their own agenda.
Yet they expect you to always shower them with praises and compliments.
6. They project their own negative traits onto you
Projection is a defense mechanism in which someone attributes their own negative traits to other people.
Narcissists are experts at this, and they’ll use it as a way to avoid dealing with their own feelings.
For example: If you’re upset because you’re feeling ignored by your partner, they might accuse you of being clingy or needy instead.
This is projection in action.
By projecting their own feelings onto others and making them seem like your problem instead of theirs, narcissists can avoid taking responsibility for their actions and make themselves feel better about themselves at the same time!
They’ve got some real talent for doing this—and most of us don’t even realize what’s going on until we’ve already been hurt by it too many times to count anymore.
7. They make everything about them
Narcissists are all about themselves.
They don’t care about your feelings, interests, or opinions—they only want to talk about themselves and how amazing they are.
They make everything about them.
I think this is why some people get confused when a narcissist says something like “I love you.”
It’s not because they actually love you (though I suppose it could be possible).
It’s because saying “I love you” is a way for them to show off and somehow prove that they’re better than everyone else.
8. They’re not very interested in your feelings.
Your partner may be a narcissist if they don’t care about how you feel, what you think, or what you need.
They might not even ask about these things at all.
This is because narcissists are extremely selfish and only care about themselves.
This can be especially hard for people who tend to be sensitive or empathetic.
If someone doesn’t care about your feelings or needs, yet expect you to care about theirs, they may have narcissistic tendencies.
9. You find yourself making excuses for their behavior
If you find yourself making excuses for their behavior, then you should be aware that this is one of the top signs that your partner is a narcissist.
You might feel like you don’t have any control over what happens in your relationship and that everything is out of your hands.
You may start thinking that there must be something wrong with you or even blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
You might try to make things better by changing yourself (usually by changing your appearance or behavior), but this rarely works if they are truly a narcissist because they will just find another thing to focus on.
10. They act like victims and make you feel like the bad person in the relationship
One of the biggest signs that you are dating a narcissist is that they will always act like the victim.
They will blame you for everything, make you feel like the bad person in the relationship and make you feel like it’s your fault things are not working out in your relationship.
This can be done through their words or actions, but either way, they will ensure that you take all the blame while they appear blameless.
11. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them, especially when it comes to choosing topics to talk about or activities to do together.
The narcissist is constantly changing the rules of the game, and you have to keep up with them.
A narcissist draws you into an argument over something so minor that it’s no longer about the topic at hand but your character, judgment and integrity.
The narcissist will use every tool in their arsenal to win this game:
guilt tripping (“I don’t know why I keep trying with you… Everyone else has given up on our relationship…”)
projection (“I can see how much you hate me… You don’t even like yourself let alone anyone else! You’re just so bitter!”)
passive-aggressive behavior (loud sighs, rolling eyes) and
deflection (playing dumb or droning on about their problems).
Oh my!
No one deserves to be with a narcissist!
12. They gaslight you and make you seem like the crazy one
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser manipulates you into questioning your sanity.
You may feel like you’re going crazy, or that everyone else has it all figured out except for you.
Narcissists use gaslighting as a way to make themselves seem superior to their victims and make them doubt their own sanity.
They do this by telling them that they are imagining things, or that they are too sensitive—even though the narcissist’s behavior is what caused the distress in the first place.
Gaslighting can be very hard to spot because it’s so subtle.
Eventually, however, if you look closely enough at your relationship with this person, there will be signs of gaslighting in your relationship.
13. They lack empathy
Empathy is a feeling of understanding and sharing the emotions of another.
It’s an essential part of any relationship, whether you’re interacting with your partner, family, friends, colleagues or strangers.
Some narcissists are able to empathize, but many lack this ability entirely.
People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder have a tough time identifying with other people’s feelings and can’t imagine what life is like from their perspective.
They also don’t feel as much empathy for others’ needs as most people do—they’ll find ways to use other people’s vulnerabilities against them instead of trying to understand why they might be upset or hurt by something they’ve done.
14. You feel drained because you keep giving and giving without receiving
Narcissists have a way of draining your energy.
You may be giving and giving, but never receiving anything in return.
That’s because narcissists are notorious for being controlling and manipulative, so they’ll never let you get too far ahead of them.
They need constant praise from others to feel good about themselves, but rarely give any praise back.
These people will also try to make you think that their opinions are the only ones that matter or should be listened to at all times—and if you don’t agree with them, then it must not be true or right.
This can cause severe conflict as they try to take control over everything in your life including what clothes should look like on you, how much makeup should go on, what type of food tastes good or doesn’t, which movies are worth watching…the list goes on!
You’re drained from constant arguments and having to give in to them all the time.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, know that they are not going to change.
You need to work on yourself and learn how to make better choices because this is not the right person for you.
