Questions are an incredibly powerful tool for building intimacy with your partner.
They can help you get to know them better and strengthen your connection, but only if you ask the right ones.
If you want to know someone truly well, you need to ask them deep questions.
It’s not just about knowing the surface details of their lives, but delving deeper into who they are at the core.
That’s what makes a great relationship.
To get to that level of intimacy with your partner, it takes time and commitment.
But once you have it, it will be so much easier for both of you to connect on a deeper level and make your relationship stronger than ever.
Here are some questions to ask your partner that will help you do just that:
22 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner
- “What makes you happy?”
Happiness is the goal of life.
You don’t know your partner until you know what makes them happy.
You might think this is an obvious one.
But it’s not always that simple when it comes to figuring out what makes someone else happy.
Asking what makes your partner happy is a great way to get to know them better.
It can also help you learn about their personality, interests and dreams.
- “What makes you angry?”
Everyone has things that set them off, and it’s important to know what those are so that you can avoid doing or saying things that upset your partner in the future.
If you’re ever at a loss for words during an argument, you’ll know what not to say.
- “What’s one thing about yourself that would surprise me?”
It’s always fun to learn about someone’s quirks, especially if they’re unexpected ones.
The more honest your partner is here, the more likely it is that they’ll open up in other ways too.
- “What do you like most about yourself?”
This question is a great way to get to know your partner on a deeper level because it asks what they value about themselves.
It can also help you understand them better if they have negative thoughts or beliefs about themselves, as well as how they see their own strengths and weaknesses.
- “Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?”
This is a great question because it allows you both to talk about where you want to be in life and whether or not those goals align with each other’s goals for the future.
- “What is your favorite food?”
I know what you’re thinking.
“How is this a deep question?”
It is because food is one of life’s great pleasures.
And while it’s easy to assume that everyone likes pizza or burgers, there are still some differences in taste between people.
Asking what kind of food your partner enjoys will help you understand their preferences and habits more clearly and possibly give you some insight into their personality too.
7.”What do you want most right now?”
This question helps uncover what motivates someone on an emotional level. It’s not just about what they want right now — it’s about why they want it and how badly they want it.
This can tell you if they’re competitive or ambitious, if they’re motivated by money or recognition, if they’re realistic or optimistic about achieving their goals and much more.
- “What is your greatest fear?”
Fear is a natural human emotion, but it’s also one of the most powerful ones.
It can cause people to make terrible decisions, but it can also be overcome with willpower and self-confidence.
If your partner has a fear of public speaking or heights, for example, you have a better understanding of how they may react in stressful situations.
- “What makes you sad?”
This question can help you get to know your partner on an emotional level.
It’s not enough to know what your partner likes and dislikes; knowing what makes them sad will help you understand their values, goals and priorities in life.
10.” What was your dream job growing up?”
If you want to know more about who your partner was when they were younger, then this question is perfect for you.
When someone tells us their dream career or job we get insight into their personality and interests at a much deeper level than we would have otherwise been able to reach on our own.
- “What’s most important in life to you?”
This question is more open-ended than asking about career paths and long-term goals.
It gives your partner an opportunity to elaborate on what he or she thinks about the value of money, time and relationships with friends and family members — topics that may seem trivial but are actually quite important when it comes down to it.
- “What are your dreams?”
If you’re not sure what your partner’s dreams are (or if they even have any), then this is a question worth asking.
If they do have them, then it will also be worthwhile to see how well they align with yours.
The reason why this is such an important question is because dreaming big helps us set goals, which in turn helps us achieve them.
The more we dream big and believe in ourselves, the more likely we are to make those dreams come true.
- “What do you regret most?”
This is a good question to ask your partner because it helps you understand their values and how they’ve changed over time.
It also helps you see what they think is important in life, and what they’d like to change.
If a person can’t think of anything that they regret, it might be because they have no regrets or because they’re trying to avoid the question (which could mean that they have something to hide).
- “What did your parents teach you about money when you were growing up?”
Money can be tricky for some people, so this question will help you understand how your partner deals with money today compared to how their parents handled finances when they were younger.
Is it similar or different from yours?
Which one do they prefer?
How does this affect their financial decisions now?
- “What was your first job?”
This question tells you a lot about someone’s past, whether it’s something they’re proud of or something they’ve tried hard to forget.
If they’ve got a good answer, then it might be worth asking follow-up questions to get more details on the experience.
- “What has been a turning point in your life?”
This is a great question because it not only gives you insight into their past, but also into where they are headed.
If they tell you about a time when they overcame an obstacle, it can show you what type of person they are.
Do they take on challenges head-on or do they avoid them?
This can help you predict how they will handle future obstacles.
- “If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?”
You’re asking them to reveal their innermost thoughts and emotions in an honest way.
This reveals their self-awareness and maturity.
They could say they’d like to be more confident or more outgoing, then you know they’re not fully satisfied with themselves.
But if they say they’d like to be more humble, then it’s good news because it shows that they know their strengths and weaknesses and want to improve themselves.
- “What do you like most about being with me?”
This question is quite similar to “What do you like most about me?”, but it gives you more insight into what your partner likes about you as a person rather than just the qualities that make him or her attracted to you.
It’s also important because it will show how much he or she values your personality and relationship together in general, rather than just the physical aspects of it.
- “What would you do if you won a million dollars?”
It’s not just an idle question, but one that gives you insight into what really matters to your partner.
If they say they’d buy a house and travel, it might be a sign they’re more practical than ambitious.
If they say they’d invest the money and give some to charity, then they might be more altruistic than self-serving.
20. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?”
This question is less about finding out about their past and more about getting a feel for how comfortable they are talking about themselves and their flaws. If they’ve got nothing embarrassing to share — or worse, try to impress you with something from their past — then maybe there’s something missing from their life in general. (Or maybe they’re just boring.)
- “What was your favorite class in school?”
This one can reveal a lot about how someone thinks, how passionate they are about things, and whether or not they were an overachiever or underachiever during their school years.
It also tells you a lot about what motivates them today: Do they still enjoy reading books on history or science? Do they like working out at the gym?
- “Which book has influenced you the most in life and why?”
Books are often a reflection of what we believe in and what we value in life.
They also tell us a lot about a person because they can show us how they think and how they process information.
It will also let you know if your partner is a reader or not.
Ask your partner these 22 deep questions and you’ll be surprised at the quality of information you get.
You can also get them to ask you these questions as well.
