I don’t know about you, but first dates make me nervous.
I remember going on a first date with a man some time ago.
We had been talking on the phone and exchanging chats, and I felt somewhat comfortable and sure it was time to meet him physically.
I was also excited because I don’t really get to go out often, so it was a chance to get out, see people and let them see me.
However, as the day approached, I felt my heart beating faster, and my palms became sweaty at the thought of meeting this guy I had been talking with.
“What does he look like?”
“What if he lied about his height?”
“What if he feels disappointed about my looks?”
“Perhaps he’d expect a taller, slimmer, and fairer person.”
“What if I say something, and he thinks I’m too forward?”
These and many more thoughts raced through my mind and made me extra nervous.
I kept taking deep breaths and telling myself to relax and that it wasn’t really that deep.
And yeah!
If you find yourself battling with these thoughts and questions, take a deep breath and relax because it isn’t really that deep.
It might interest you to know that guys also feel nervous about first dates.
They battle with lots of questions, they fret, and they overthink things as much as we do.
In other words, you aren’t alone.
If you’ve been talking with a guy and you’ve decided it’s time to meet, and you find yourself wondering if you would meet his expectations, let me help you with some of the things guys expect from you on a first date.
9 Things Guys Expect on First Dates
1. Be punctual.
Yeah!
This is the first and most important thing a guy expects from you.
I mean, no one likes to be kept waiting, and no guy wants to be made to look as though he’s forcing a date on an unwilling lady.
Showing up on time doesn’t just let him know you both are interested in seeing each other.
It lets him know you are a responsible and humane lady who cares about other people and who treats people right.
Even if there’s a reason to be late, your guy expects you reach out and let him know.
2. Look good and smell nice.
This isn’t to lead you to break the bank so you can afford the most expensive dress and the most expensive perfume.
This is to let you know that the guy you are going on a first date with expects you to make an effort, no matter how minimal, to look good and smell nice.
Even if you’re on a budget, you can spend money on an affordable dress and perfume and still look dope on your first date.
Trust me, looking good and smelling nice isn’t just about meeting your guy’s expectations.
It’s also about feeling good about yourself and building the confidence you need to go through your first date.
3. Pay attention.
This may mean putting your phone away or leaving it in silent mode so you can focus on your date.
It may sound like being the first to notice and compliment his dress, his looks, or his perfume.
As funny and as unconvincing as it sounds, life and experiences have taught me that little things like these matter and that they let the guy know he has your full attention.
Truth is, you are an adult who is fully in charge of her time.
If you’ve agreed to go on a date with a guy, it makes sense that they expect you to minimize distraction and focus on them while you’re at it.
4. Listen.
I like to think of this as one of the unspoken rules of going on a date.
Even as a lady, a guy who talks and talks and doesn’t listen is a turn-off.
I see it as a sign that the guy feels inferior and is trying to make up or compensate for his lack of confidence or esteem or whatever it is he lacks.
No guy likes it when a lady he’s on a date with refuses or neglects to listen to him.
You speak, and you take the time to listen to your guy when he speaks.
You ask questions, and you let him answer, and you restrain yourself from interrupting him while he answers and speaks.
5. Participate actively.
It can be draining, and it gives a somewhat awkward feeling of being talkative when you are the only one thinking of and starting a conversation while the other person responds with only smiles and nods.
As a lady who agreed to go on a date with a guy, he expects you to be confident enough to initiate and hold a conversation.
6. Be yourself.
I know you’re wondering if your date will like you, and you’re worried about making a first impression, but honestly, the worst thing you’ll ever do on a first date with a guy is pretend about who you are.
No matter how you feel, the best person you can be at all times, especially on a first date, is yourself.
Don’t worry about impressing anyone or meeting expectations.
Focus on being yourself and work on being the best version of yourself.
It’s always better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.
7. They expect you to be polite and courteous.
How do you talk to the man at the door?
How do you respond to the waiter/waitress who has come to take your order?
When they don’t get your order right, how do you react?
Do you politely let them know they got it wrong, or do you hurl insults at them?
There is no need to be rude and condescending while on a first date, and no man likes to be with a woman who draws attention by being rude and condescending.
Yes, you should be confident and assertive, but you don’t have to be rude or condescending.
You can point out something that has gone wrong without hurling insults at someone.
8. They expect you to be expressive.
Did you enjoy talking with him?
Let him know you did.
Did you enjoy the food?
Let him know you enjoyed the food.
Would you like to go on a second date with him, and you think you guys “should do this again”?
Be confident enough to let him know you’ll like to see him again.
Some guys love it when a woman owns her feelings and experiences and expresses them.
Expressing your feelings doesn’t mean you are forcing yourself on a man or being too forward.
If a man thinks you are forcing yourself on him or flirting with him simply because you told him you liked the food and you think you want to go on another date with him, then you should never have gone out with him in the first place.
9. They expect you to check in on them.
The date is over, and you’re home.
Do you just take a shower and settle down to talk about the date with your best friend, mom, or colleague, or do you text/call him to know if he got home safely?
Keep in mind that men are humans, and they care as much as women do.
When you get home after a first date, your guy expects you to call/text and ask if he got home safely.
Again, this isn’t necessarily about creating any first impression or meeting any expectations.
It’s a humane thing to do, and it’s about extending care to him.
I have to say this.
These expectations don’t mean you should shrink yourself to accommodate someone else, or you should change yourself so as to be liked by a guy you are meeting for the first time.
No.
It only means you should put in effort to make your first date as memorable as possible for you and your guy.