Sharing is caring!

Marriage is a social institution, as well as a lifetime partnership.

Therefore, it’s unavoidably a huge part of every married person’s life.

I’m aware that the aphorism that says life is not a bed of roses may be quite clichéd, but the veracity in the saying is indisputable.

Partners in marriage will inevitably share all the seasons—exciting days, days of despair, uneventful moments—that life brings their way, yet they are glad that they are doing life with each other and not with anyone else.

However, I cannot deny the existence of consistently unhappy marriages.

As a married woman, if there are short-lived happy moments but overwhelmingly increasing turbulent seasons in your marriage, chances are that you are an unhappily married woman.

To be sure, here are some signs a married woman is unhappy in her marriage:


#1 She avoids her loved ones

When a married woman finds unexplainable reasons to completely stay away from people who used to mean a lot to her before marriage, she’s probably unhappy in that marriage.

She might just be struggling to conceal her state of mind from them.

She doesn’t want to be available to them, so they do not see through her.

#2 She stops flaunting her man like she used to

If a woman who used to be big on Public Display of Affection(PDA) with her partner suddenly or gradually starts to act coy with him in public, she might just be an unhappy wife.

It possibly indicates that she is no longer as proud of him as she was in the early days of their marriage. 

As valid as this sign could be, the opposite could also be a cause for concern.

Some women who are in the habit of showering their husbands with profuse public eulogies and affection have been found to only be painting an image of the kind of marriage they wish they had but do not have in reality.

They exalt their husbands on high horses on social media and to everyone who cares to listen, whereas they are merely being motivated by unfulfilled expectations and fantasies.

For this set of women, it’s harder to tell that they are unhappy even though they are. 

#3 She stops doing what she used to enjoy doing


When a woman finds herself losing interest in fun activities she used to engage in before marriage, that’s possibly a sign that she is suffering from an unhappy marriage.

When a person gets married, there might be an adjustment in their lifestyle and routines so as to accommodate their significant other’s preferences.

However, when there’s a near-absolute change in their lifestyle, it could be an indication that things are not fine at home.

It’s either she is forbidden from doing such things now, or she can’t bring herself to do them because she is depressed.

#4 She criticizes men at every given chance

If a married woman is fond of making negative generalizations and criticisms about men, she is probably unhappy with her choice of life partner, hence the projections of her realities on other people.

She seems to have an opinion about how every man is this and that, all in a bid to convince herself that her case is not any different from every married woman out there.

#5 She is emotionally unstable

Many women are known to have mood swings from time to time.

However, when a woman’s mood swings are triggered by topics about marriage or by the mention or appearance of her partner, she is most likely not enjoying her marital life.

#6 She becomes steadily less productive


If the level of productivity of a woman suddenly drops, not temporarily, due to childbirth or any apparent reason, an unhappy marriage may be the cause.

Even the Bible says that “two are better than one.”

A married woman with a partner she is glad to have by herself will likely be a better version of herself because she has a like-minded person as her companion and support.

Unfortunately, a woman who lives under the same roof as someone she resents will not be in the best frame of mind to make progressive and productive decisions.

As the popular quote by Edward Everett Hale goes, “Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress, working together is success.” 

#7 She stops caring about how she looks

Happiness, more often than not, is evident in one’s physical appearance.

When a woman who used to be big on admirable appearance gradually starts paying less attention to her looks, this negligence could be traceable to an unhappy marriage.

It could be attributable to her having a partner who never compliments her or who talks down on her looks.

It could also simply be the inner gloom reflecting on the outside.

#8 She doesn’t want to have any or more children

There are many reasons for not wanting to birth a child as a married woman; an unhappy marriage could be one of them.

An unhappy wife who hopefully thinks she might call it quits one day might not desire to give birth to kids mainly because she doesn’t want any ‘baggage’ tying her down when she eventually decides to leave the marriage.

If she’s had any, she may not want to have more, so that exit would be less complicated for her.

#9 She becomes less optimistic and confident about her decisions

If a married woman is unhappy and, as such, probably regrets her decision to marry who she married or to get married at all, she will probably not trust herself to make great decisions again.

She may not envisage great outcomes from the decisions that she finally makes.

#10 She can’t stop thinking or talking about her ex

When a woman finds herself digging up thoughts about her past relationship(s) from where they’ve long been buried, she may be unsatisfied with the present one.

She finds herself comparing her partner to her exes, wondering if she should have gone for them instead.

She may even catch herself fantasizing about intimacy with her ex.

#11 She has little or no desire for lovemaking


An unhappy wife will most often than not be unattracted to her partner, which will consequently lead to a lack of desire for intimacy.

It is often said that for most women, sex is more emotional and psychological than physical.

If her emotions are not in tandem with that of her partner, her sexual urge may suffer for long.

No sex or passionless sex is one of the prominent signs of an unhealthy marriage. 

#12 Her long-term plans do not feature her partner

As I have said in the foremost part of this article, marriage is a lifetime partnership; thus, a married woman would expectedly, in her mind, have a picture of her man by her side in the future.

However, this may not be the case for a woman who is unhappy in her marriage.

She will most likely not include her partner in her long-term goals.

This is because she has her doubts about the longevity of the union.

In fact, she might be planning her exit from the marriage already. 

#13 She starts denying or refusing to disclose her marital status in places where she is not known

A woman who is unhappily married might choose to identify as unmarried when she finds herself in new places or a new company.

This might be because she wants to avoid being dragged into discussions that border on marriage.

It might also be that she is leaving chances for potential admirers to take their chances at wooing her.

#14 She cheats


The previous sign might inevitably lead here.

An unhappily married woman who leaves room for people to believe she is single is likely to commit adultery.

If you ask many married women who are cheating on their partners, they are likely to say that they are doing it because the person they are cheating with makes them happy, unlike their legal life partners.  

As a married woman, if you can relate to any of these signs, I empathize with your plight.

There are women who have, at one point or the other, exhibited some or all of these signs but ended up finding happiness in the long run because they sought and found help.

No one deserves to live a sad married life.

Marriage shouldn’t be a spell of doom.

It’s a blessing, not a curse.

Do well for yourself and seek help.

There might just be something missing waiting to be fixed, and voilà, your happiness is restored!

It’s a sad truth, however, that some marriages were never meant to be.

If, after all is said and done, you still feel the same way, maybe it’s time to find happiness for yourself.

Just maybe.

I leave you with the cliché I started with; life is not a bed of roses after all.


Leave a comment