One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is: Is this person God’s choice for me?
In order to answer this question, it is important to understand what it means to be God’s choice for someone.
It means that God has is guiding you both toward marriage.
How do you know if God is guiding you and your boyfriend toward marriage or not?
How do you know if he’s the one God wants for you or not?
Here are signs he is not the one from God :
8 Signs He is Not The One From God
1. He doesn’t have a relationship with God
This is the most important sign that he’s not the one from God.
If he does not have a relationship with God and has no interest in spiritual things, then there’s no way God wants him to be your husband.
The Bible says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV
God cannot contradict His Word.
Before you think you can change him or pray for his salvation using I Corinthians 7:13-14 as a reference
” And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”
I Corinthians 7:13-14 NKJV
This text is referring to people who are already married, not you who is still single and know the truth.
If a person does not have a relationship with God, you’ll never be able to build a healthy relationship with yourself or anyone else.
Because it is impossible to be fully satisfied and fulfilled in life without God.
We were created to live in a relationship with Him and we need His love, grace, mercy and forgiveness in our lives every day.
So if your boyfriend or fiancé doesn’t express his love for Jesus Christ, it’s a big red flag that he is not the one from God.
In order for your boyfriend to be the one, he needs to have an intimate relationship with God too or be interested in having one.
That lack of interest is a real red flag.
2. He doesn’t encourage you in your goals and dreams
A man who loves his girlfriend will want nothing more than for her to be successful and happy.
God brings partners into our lives to encourage us in the pursuit of His purpose, plan, or assignment for our lives.
If your boyfriend is not encouraging you in your career or whatever it is that you believe God has called you to do, he’s definitely not the one for you.
3. He doesn’t respect women
A man who respects women will treat them with kindness and gentleness.
He will not use them as objects, or speak to them in degrading ways.
A man who is not the one from God will see women as less than him, and treat them as such.
The Bible admonishes men to treat their wives with honour and understanding lest their prayers be hindered.
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
I Peter 3:7 NKJV
If God cares this much about women, you think He will give you a man who doesn’t honour women?
So if you’re in an abusive relationship whether emotional or physical, it’s not the will of God for you.
4. He doesn’t have integrity
Integrity is an important aspect of a good man.
If he lacks integrity, it shows me that he doesn’t take his word seriously and will most likely break any promises made in the future (such as marriage).
You’re not looking for a perfect man, no one is, and you’re not perfect yourself but desiring a man of integrity isn’t asking for too much.
You should be able to trust your boyfriend to do what he says (even if not always) not constantly lie to you or others, be dependable and faithful.
If he’s not any of this, he will break your heart.
5. He is prideful
A man who is not the one from God will have an inflated ego that needs constant feeding through praise and admiration from others around him.
He may even brag about himself in order to make himself seem more important than he actually is.
This can be seen through his words, actions and attitudes towards others around him especially those who are different from him and below him.
If he looks down on others, how are you sure that he won’t look down on you?
The Bible says, “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6 NKJV
How will God give you a man who He’s resisting?
6. He wants you to change for him because he thinks you need changing in order for things between you two to work out
This is one of the biggest red flags that he is not the one from God.
If he asks you to change your personality, your interests, or anything else that is part of your soul, he is not worth the time.
You are here on earth to be yourself and no one else.
A man who loves you will accept all of you, even if you have some quirks that he does not like.
You don’t have to be perfect all of the time, but if he makes you feel like he would be happier if you were a different person, then that is a red flag.
This doesn’t mean you can’t work on your weaknesses and improve your character.
For example, if you’re lazy or quick-tempered, and your man encourages you to be more diligent or patient, that’s a man who cares about you and wants you to change for good.
But a man who wants you to change your skin color, height, makes mean comments about your weight or looks, and wants you to act in ways you don’t feel comfortable isn’t the right one from God to you.
7. You have doubts more than peace about him
You’re having serious doubts about him but can’t put a finger on why exactly.
You’re feeling anxious around him all the time or worried about what he might do next or in future.
And those feelings don’t go away even after talking about them with friends or family members multiple times.
These are all signs that something is wrong with this person and that there could be trouble ahead if you continue down this.
Even when you’re with the right person, you’ll still have some doubts but in the midst of your doubts, you’ll have peace.
Peace will reign and you’ll have a deep conviction that you’re with the one God has for you.
8. Your loved ones warn you against him
If he is not the one from God, your loved ones will warn you.
If they don’t, then chances are that you are blindfolded and walking into a trap.
So if your family members or close friends tell you that they don’t like him, pay attention.
They may have valid reasons for their concerns, they’ve probably seen things in this guy that you haven’t noticed yet.
Because if the man you’re dating is not the one, it will be pretty obvious to everyone around you.
You’re the one who is blind, and not them.
A combination of these signs are red flags that should not be ignored.
As a child of God, you should pray further for clarification and let God guide your decision.
The choice of who to marry can either make or mar you.
You can’t make such a choice without being led by God.