In marriages and long-term committed relationships, men cheat for various reasons.
Some men cheat just to satisfy their sexual needs, while others cheat out of loneliness or so as to find comfort away from the marital issues they face in their home.
Yet, some others cheat as a way of being adventurous or simply because they believe they have the right to as many women as they can handle or because it makes them feel good.
Truthfully, none of these reasons justify breaking the heart of a woman who loves you and who is committed to building a relationship and a home with you.
It even becomes more heartbreaking when a woman notices one, two, or more signs which point to the fact that her partner isn’t just being adventurous or seeking sexual satisfaction but has fallen deeply in love with the other woman.
As the woman, you know what you noticed, but at this point, you aren’t even sure what they mean and if they are pointers to issues other than what your mind tells you.
There’s no need to question yourself or ask if you are okay or if you are going crazy.
Your feelings of confusion are valid, understandable, and normal.
In order to help you make more sense of what you feel, here are seven (7) signs that tell you your partner is in love with the other woman.
9 Signs He Loves The Other Woman
1. He’s no longer connected with you.
A lady I know whose husband cheated on her and even moved in with the other woman confessed that the first sign that let her know of her husband’s affair was that her husband disconnected from her.
They weren’t talking anymore.
According to her, he was fond of asking about her day, telling her about his, and sharing stories of daily challenges and victories, but she couldn’t help but notice that her husband wasn’t just there with her anymore.
Even when she tried to ask and talk to him, he didn’t pay attention, and he forgot her birthday, their son’s birthday, and their 10th wedding anniversary.
She asked if he was happy with her and if he had someone else, but he denied having someone else even though the signs were there.
She knew what she felt.
She dug further and discovered there was another woman to whom her husband professed love and commitment.
If your partner is disconnected from you and doesn’t open up to you or share stories with you as he used to.
If he avoids eye contact and seems to be far away when you try to talk to him and, to cap it all, he forgets the important dates in your relationship or marriage; there’s a high chance he’s not happy with you.
If he isn’t happy with you, then he’s probably happy and in love with someone else.
2. Sex with him lacks intimacy.
I won’t ever forget the day a man who was hitting on me told me he thought of me the night before while making love to his wife.
According to him, he had to imagine making love to me so he could climax.
I couldn’t believe it.
I didn’t know his motive for saying that to me, but I felt irritated, and I felt pity for his wife.
I wondered if his wife noticed her husband wasn’t really into her during lovemaking, and I hoped and prayed he wouldn’t utter my name.
In your case, maybe your husband doesn’t ask for sex anymore.
In short, he returns, hits the bed, and avoids you by turning on his side and sleeping off.
You make advances toward him, and he pushes you away and tells you he’s tired and needs to sleep.
It’s unusual because he has never said no or pushed you away, and you wonder if there’s a challenge or an issue at work that drains him.
Even when he gives in to your advances, you notice he isn’t there.
You feel his weight and his thrusts, but you don’t feel him.
Other times, he’s full of energy, and just when you think, “Yes, this is the man I fell in love with!” he calls a strange name that you don’t remember, and this tells you he imagines being with someone else when he makes love to you.
It might be the hardest thing to hear, but your husband’s affair might be more than just an adventure.
He has fallen in love with the other woman, and his heart isn’t with you.
3. He’s grooming himself.
He’s buying new clothes and discarding old ones, and when he’s dressing up to go out, he takes extra care to look and smell good.
This isn’t a bad thing.
I’m tempted to say it’s commendable, except he isn’t doing it for you.
How do you know?
You love how he looks in a white shirt and blue jeans, and you’ve told him countless times how handsome he looks.
However, you notice he’s starting to tilt towards shorts and sneakers, especially on those weekends he tells you he’s working an extra day or those weekends he tells you something came up at work.
He even starts to wear less of your favorite perfume.
Yes, it’s possible he works an extra day or he needs to travel for emergency work stuff, but that new dress sense of his can’t be for you.
Since he isn’t dressing up or grooming himself for you, it’s possible he’s doing it to look attractive to the other woman, and it’s a sign that he loves her.
4. He finds faults in you and in everything you do.
I’ll never forget a movie I saw years back.
A happily married man was having a fling with a single lady who took an interest in him at work, and she invited him for a night party.
To attend a party without his wife was an unusual thing, and he wondered what he’d tell his wife.
“Pick a fight with her over something, anything, and come with me tonight,” his mistress suggested.
The man went home and was served chicken dinner by his wife.
He raised his voice and screamed something about hating chicken and hating how dirty and unorganized his house looked.
Before his wife could say a word, he stormed out of the house, met with his mistress, and together, they drove to the party.
His wife was shocked because her husband had never complained about chicken, and she ran to their room and searched his shirts, pockets, trousers, and bags for any note, picture, or anything that could confirm her suspicion because, according to her, picking a fight with her in that manner meant only one thing: he was having an affair, and he needed to be with the other woman.
Your husband may not pick fights with you over a plate of chicken dinner, but he belittles the efforts you make in your home.
He uses certain stories, secrets, and insecurities of yours against you, and the more you try to let him know how much his actions hurt you, the more he does them.
This is a sure sign he has someone else, is deeply in love with her, and is setting the stage for a breakup with you so he could be with her.
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He no longer plans date nights with you.
If date nights were once your unique way of spicing up your marriage or relationship, missing a few nights is understandable.
However, when it’s happening over and over again, and he’s giving excuses like working late, being exhausted, or having an important business meeting, it’s a sign there’s another woman, and your husband loves her.
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His stories and lies don’t add up.
Lying is a direct consequence of cheating because in order to cover up one’s cheating tracks, one has to lie and tell a lot of stories.
One disadvantage of lying and telling a lot of stories is that soon enough, the liar and cheat would no longer keep track of his lies and stories.
He might tell you something about working late or having an extra day at work, and in two or three weeks, he would completely forget the lie he told you and then say something else that totally disconnects from what he said earlier.
Once you start to notice these patterns in your relationship or marriage, there’s a high chance your man professes love to another woman.
7. He tells you he loves her
If you are aware of the other woman in your man’s life, you may have heard him say “I love you” on the phone or even while you’re around.
Heck, he might even confess to you that he loves her.
This is probably the surest of the signs he loves the other woman.
Because it takes some level of boldness to admit to your partner that you love someone else.
If he’s telling you outright that he loves her, there’s no mistaking that something is going on in his heart.
8. He didn’t quit the affair even after being caught
It’s one thing to be caught in an affair and another to stop it.
If your man continues the affair even after being caught, there’s a high chance he has strong feelings for her.
Most people usually quit an affair after being discovered, but if he sticks it out, then it’s probably love.
9. You feel it in your gut.
Having been with your partner for a while, it’s safe to say you know him well enough to notice when his behavior changes toward you.
When he’s no longer with you and for you, your intuition will kick in, and you will sense that something is off.
Don’t ignore what you feel.
Pay attention to it and try to find the basis for that.
There’s always a reason for whatever our instincts tell us.
Ask questions if you have to.
As difficult as it can be, try to focus on the facts and not let anger and blame games derail your conversation.
The aim is to get to the bottom of what’s going on between your spouse and the other woman and to know if you are still in the picture.
You can ask your spouse when the affair started, what he thinks it means for your marriage, and what the next steps should be.
Listen attentively, and be sure to observe your spouse.
It’s hard, and it can be heartbreaking, but at the same time, knowing the truth can help you decide your next steps forward.
It can help you decide if you still want to work on repairing your marriage with your spouse or go your separate ways.