”Why do I attract guys who just want to sleep with me?”
You’re a woman who wants to meet a guy, date him, and eventually get married.
But for some reason, every guy you date just wants to sleep with you.
So, what’s going on?
Why do you always attract guys who only want to sleep with you?
I understand that as an attractive woman, it’s no surprise that guys will be attracted to you.
But if they’re just interested in hooking up and nothing else, then that can be a problem.
Let’s look at some of the reasons for this phenomenon.
Why Do I Attract Guys Who Just Want to Sleep With Me?
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It’s not you; it’s them
You’re not alone.
In fact, you’re in good company.
Many women have fallen into this pattern of dating men who are only interested in sex.
Men tend to think about relationships differently than women because their brains process emotions differently than women do.
Men tend to be more focused on physical attraction and sexual gratification.
In contrast, women are more interested in emotional connection and intimacy as well as physical attraction (although most women do also want a healthy dose of both).
2. You’re not looking for anything serious, so you give off that same vibe
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there are two types of guys when it comes to relationships: those who want something serious and those who don’t.
You gravitate toward the latter group because… well, you don’t want anything serious.
The problem is that these guys have a sixth sense for spotting women who are just as commitment-phobic as they are.
They know you won’t make them change their ways and settle down anytime soon, so they approach you because they think you’re fun to flirt with and easy to get into bed—and once they’ve gotten what they wanted from you, they move on.
If this sounds familiar, here’s my advice: stop giving off vibes that say, “not interested in anything serious.”
This doesn’t mean that you have to become a nun; it just means that instead of going out with every guy who asks you out (which is how most women end up in this situation), try taking your time with dating and finding someone who wants more than just casual flings with no strings attached.
3. You’re great at keeping up appearances
When you meet a guy who isn’t looking for anything serious, you pretend to be someone who isn’t looking for anything serious, even if, deep down inside, you are.
You tell him how much fun it is being single and how cool it is that he doesn’t want commitment either.
He thinks he’s found a woman just like him.
But then one day, he makes a move on you that’s more than just friendly… and then another one… and another one.
And poof! He disappears. And the cycle continues.
4. You don’t know how to say no to guys
You’re not a bad person.
You’re just a little too nice for your own good.
You don’t know how to say no to guys, so you end up going on more dates with them than you want to.
But when it comes down to it, you’re having fun, and they’re not serious about the relationship.
And that’s fine… until it isn’t anymore.
See, the guys who want nothing serious with you are the ones who don’t take no for an answer.
They know that if they keep chasing after you, eventually, you’ll give in and be impressed by their persistence (or at least interested enough to give them another shot).
And when you give in, they sleep with you and move on to the next girl who doesn’t know how to say no.
If you don’t learn to say no to guys who don’t want something serious, you’ll keep attracting them.
It starts with saying “no” when they ask for your number.
5. You only have eyes for bad boys
You’re not the kind of person who looks at a guy and thinks, “Oh, he’s going to be a responsible father.”
You’re the type who sees a guy with tattoos and an eyebrow piercing and thinks, “He’s going to be fun.”
And that’s great! It’s important to be open-minded and willing to try new things.
But it’s also important to ensure you’re not so focused on finding something new that you forget what you want.
So maybe next time you meet someone who seems like he might not be serious about anything (like himself), take a minute before jumping into bed with him.
Think about whether this is the kind of person you want in your life for the long haul or if he’s just a fun distraction for now.
6. You don’t listen to your gut
I’m a firm believer in “gut feelings.”
But let’s be clear.
When I say “gut feeling,” I don’t mean a feeling that comes from your stomach.
The term “gut feeling” has nothing to do with actual gastrointestinal activity.
No, “gut feeling” means the internal voice telling us when something isn’t right—whether it’s a relationship or a simple business decision.
It doesn’t always show up as an audible voice, but more often than not, it’s there.
It might not be as loud as the other voices in your head—the ones that tell you to stay with your boyfriend because he buys you flowers or go for the job because it pays well—but it’s there nonetheless.
And if you don’t listen to it? Well…
So you might be attracting guys who only want your body because you’re the kind of person who wants to believe that everyone has good intentions and that they all want to be with you.
You’re so eager to love and be loved that it’s almost impossible for you to see when someone is just using you—or worse, if they’re not interested in being with you at all.
The only way to break out of this pattern is to start paying attention when your gut tells you something isn’t right about a guy or situation.
If something feels off, it probably is!
If a guy seems too good to be true, he probably is.
And if a guy isn’t treating you the way you want him to, you shouldn’t put up with him because the lovemaking is good.
7. You haven’t learned how to set boundaries
Your ability to attract guys who want nothing serious with you shows that you haven’t learned how to set boundaries.
When you don’t know your boundaries or how to enforce them, you have no idea how much space you need to feel comfortable in a relationship.
And when you’re not sure what’s okay and what’s not, people who want something casual can come in and take advantage of the fact that they don’t have to follow the rules.
To set boundaries, know that:
* Boundaries are about YOU and what YOU need.
* Boundaries help YOU protect yourself from bad experiences.
* Boundaries are there for the benefit of BOTH of you.
Set boundaries, darling.
8. You dress the part
You see, everyone has a vibe, and how you dress reflects that vibe.
How you dress can tell people what kind of relationship you’re looking for because your clothing communicates a loud and clear message.
When guys see you dressed up in something sexy and revealing, they know that you’re not trying to get into anything serious—and they want nothing more than to take advantage of that fact.
You can’t argue that your outward appearance doesn’t matter.
It does.
9. You never let yourself get bored
You’re always looking for something new, exciting, and challenging—and that’s why you attract guys who are just as quick to move on as you are.
The guys who want to settle down aren’t looking for someone who will keep things interesting; they’re looking for someone they can rest easy with, who won’t make them feel uncomfortable in their skin.
They might be attracted to your spontaneity at first, but as soon as things start getting serious, they’ll start wondering whether you’ll ever stop surprising them with your wild ideas and needs.
The next thing they know, they’re thinking about how much easier life would be if they were with someone more like themselves—someone whose idea of a great date is staying in and watching Netflix instead of going out dancing all night long.
Not that there’s anything wrong with seeking excitement, but if it keeps leading you where you don’t want to be, you should make some adjustments.
These are the common reasons why you keep attracting guys who only want your body and nothing serious.
Most of the time, it’s not you.
But it’s your decision to determine whether you’ll let them or not.
Thanks so much! Well said.
Thank you!